Confessions of a recovering Veggie

In case the NYT took down its front page headline about it, I will fill you in by acknowledging that, yes, I have been eating dead things; I have returned to the world of meat-eaters- if only temporarily. Why, you may dare ask? I'd say mostly because I was in the enviable position of losing too much weight or, rather, fat to be more precise. Since returning to urban life I have avoided my autovoiture in favour of my bike, which has essentially pushed my metabolism through the roof. I was hungry, damnit! And all the time. Regrettably, the dead things don't appear to be working as well as I'd hoped. Either way, in my brief sojourn into meat eating I have learned a few interesting things that I either never knew or had forgotten in 11 years of vegitarianism (if I can add an 'ism' to such a thing).

I will admit that I have not gone full blown meat-eater, mind you. I am sticking to a firm policy of eating only what I can hypothetically kill, which has limited me so far to our bi-pedal friends the turkey and the chicken. Maybe this is a policy we should all follow. Who knows? Right now I am working on killing a pig. I hear they are tasty. I'll let you know how that goes.

But even in eating these things I have learned some things. One, when veggies return from the abyss they really do have trouble stomaching this stuff. I'm not saying it all goes back the way it came in. Sometimes it goes the usual route only a lot faster. I should have learned that long ago when I got some beef slipped into my soup in Morocco (and oh how pleasant it is to spend time on a squatter, let me tell you) but, well, sometimes we forget. It may have only been turkey bacon but that stuff will run through you. If you've ever loaded up on fiber (a topic I will address again in the future), I mean really loaded up- like maxing out your daily recommended value-, then you might have some understanding of this type of situation. I suggest stocking up on your reading material. And, let me say this, cheap bog roll really is not worth it. Just keep that in mind.

The second thing I learned was that turkey bacon (in big thick ass slices) is damn good. I mean really good. Who knew? This goes with my general belief that dead things are, indeed, tasty. You meat-eaters are on to something. Which brings me to the third lesson: Jewish delis are that much better once you start eating dead things.

I also learned that a butterball turkey does not, oddly enough, contain butter. It does, however, contain things other than turkey; like hormones and chemicals I can't spell. The last thing I learned was the most recent. A tuna melt is not, as I thought, a nice tuna steak but, rather, a tuna salad with cheese. And if you go to Figlios and get it (not the sort of joint you'd expect to find this at, I agree) then I suggest against it. It comes in a lunchbox that reminds you of childhood lunch time memories that are better left hidden. And eating out of a lunchbox in public when you are approaching thirty is just a tad embarrassing.

You may now rightly asking how on earth this is remotely political. Well, it isn't. Just sharing my thoughts. Though, I could say this: Those of us returning to meat after a spell rarely eat anywhere near as much meat as the rest of you people. That has its ups. For one, we can avoid many of the environmental problems of an industrial meat industry by using our meager resources on grass fed free range animals. This has a much smaller environmental footprint than large feedlots. I'm also told that the meat tastes better, though I can't be certain since my experience is limited (though the butterball was not the best thing I've eaten). And since we have spent so much time eating vegetables we still know how to cook them! And we do so much more often. I may have begun eating meat but I still eat very little of it (which may explain why it has slowed not stopped my weight loss- better up my beer intake instead).